Small Girl, Big Ideas

Hey, Jealousy!

Anyone remember that Gin Blossoms song from the 90s? Well, it's been stuck in my crazy because I've been listening to 90s summer radio on Pandora, and because, well, I've been thinking a lot of jealousy, especially in blogging. Many bloggers curate what is essentially their lives. Their self becomes an online persona that is nearly indistinguishable from a fictional character - and the more enviable people are, the more popular. I am reminded back of the Myspace age when I was completely smitten with and jealous of a local Myspace friend of mine. She had the best photos, the sweetest thoughts, and the most interesting life to me at the time. Because what she offered up online was a small window of her life, she seemed almost unreal to me. So, when I met her in person, I pretty much freaked out because to me, it was the extent of seeing a Zooey Deschanel character be a real person (or Natalie Portman or something because this was in 2005 when someone else was cool). I feel like these are most bloggers to the world - these fictional characters. Even from smaller bloggers to larger bloggers, it's scary to think you might stumble across another blogger in real life, like a unicorn or something. There are definitely bloggers out there I envy. I still even envy that Myspace girl from 2005.

Fish in Pond

To an extent, envy can be a good thing. Had I never started reading blogs, I would have never started my own, ventured out taking my own outfit photos in more interesting locations, or doing most of what I do. But then I also see how this jealousy/envy/fear turns bad. I see comments, websites, and all sorts of things dedicated to tearing people down. It seems to be, again, in direct relation to how popular the blog is, and to me, how jealous, envious, or fearful people are of the person behind it. This really scares me a bit because there are better ways to take that and turn it into inspiration. I'm a bit saddened by my favorite blogs who have inspired me so much in my own blog being torn down with a multitude of comments about silly things. Girls who have seemed like untouchable Goddesses to me have mentioned negativity in their posts (I'm talking about Mandy and Rebecca), and I'm in shock because I can't fathom why anyone would be so harsh to such girls. My father has always told me 'if you don't have anything nice to say, don't say anything at all' (often in response to haircuts or dye jobs) and I encourage you to stick with that. If your jealousy/envy/fear/anger isn't positive, try and make it into something that is.

Lancaster County PennsylvaniaChirp Seychelles Sandals

So here's the most positive outfits I could drum up in the prettiest of spots. Let's be clear, my life isn't perfect. To start, I live basically in a farm town out in 'Pennsyltucky' - a term I hate because I actually adore Kentucky - and envy you greatly if you live in a major metropolitan area. But I make the best of it, and I love it for what it is. I encourage you to do the same, and if you find your self sad/angry/ranting online about someone who lives 500 miles away and you don't know, I suggest you take a step back. It's not worth it. Sorry to get all preachy on y'all, I've rewritten this like eight billion times.

Hot Air Balloon Print DressSeychelles Chirp SandalsHot Air Balloon NecklaceOverlooking Lancaster CountyBird RingMartha's Air of Adorable DressHurst House Bed and BreakfastOutfit Over Lake in Lancaster CountyTeemo Time Watch and Kate Spade BraceletsShoes and a CatSwans at Hurst HouseHot Air Balloon Dress Over Bridge

scarf :: old navy (similarremixed
martha's air of adorable dress :: modcloth remixed
belt :: target remixed
heels :: seychelles remixed
necklace :: fab.com (gift from jason!)
bracelets & watch :: kate spade & instawatch remixed

21 comments:

  1. I love this post its so refreshing and inspiring! I absolutely cannot stand when I see people mean mean comments on a post (especially, as you say, when someone gets a new haircut or something). I think if a blogger puts something up as a discussion or debate, go ahead and give your full honest opinion, but if a comment is to only tear someone else down, JUST DON"T TYPE IT! Okay, done with the rant. And, I LOVE the print on your dress, its one of the cutest I have ever seen!
    xo Hannah

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  2. I love the gin blossoms, time to bring some 90s music up on my Ipod!!
    Jealousy/Envy and negativity are such an interesting topic in blogging, it's true that oftentimes people present only a portion of their life here, but for me my favourite blogs are those that share more than a "perfect" look into their life. I just feel like I can relate to them more I suppose. I love blogging and those blogs that are so pretty and seem perfect for inspo too though but I remind myself that no one's life is like that
    Ending on a happy note this dress is goooorgeous, such a great print!!
    xJennaD

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  3. I am the type of person that really envies others. For instance, I would KILL for your wardrobe ;-)

    But I really dislike seeing others torn down like that. I remember when a friend introduced me to the GOMI site and it made me sad, because that same day they were tearing about a blog that I really love.

    Typically though I feel like negativity comes from people who dislike themselves, so they have to be mean to others. Like bullies. I try to just brush it off and move on. People like that aren't worth our time anyway, ya know?

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  4. I definitely don't understand people who like to hate on people on the internet. What's the point? I've never once assumed any blogger has a perfect life because I know there's no such thing. I guess haters will hate. There are stupid people in real life so there are plenty online too!

    But annyyyway, you look adorable. This dress has such a happy, fun print! The neckline is really flattering too.

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  5. I sure hope you are talking about my friend that you've mentioned from MySpace (who is still really cool, but not mythical). I think it's interesting that I've seen these posts pop up on every kind of blog and it's usually from people that I wouldn't expect it. I wonder if there's something going around. It amazes me...I remember awhile ago Ashley got a really nasty comment about her unborn kid and it kind of put into perspective how mean the internet can be. But I think being a blogger, you kind of go into it expecting that. And I'm not sure why there's this line of people that think bloggers have perfect lives? That's such a weird concept. Maybe that stems from people sharing the good parts of their lives, but who are these readers/bloggers that want to see the bad parts? That wouldn't be too fun to read.

    And this dress is really perfect. The print is adorable and the shape is so flattering on you.

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  6. I'm so glad you wrote this because I think you're right: envy is at the heart of most snarky and rude comments. Most of them. And some people are just jerks. But I love your blog, your outfits, and the fact that you venture out into the world to take your photos. I would still love it even if you dyed your hair an "unpretty" color or got a questionable haircut. Because the heart of your blog is your personality and that's really what keeps me from coming back. Also, you look super cute in your hot air balloons outfit!

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  7. I've never understood the idea behind tearing someone down and making rude comments on people's blogs. Just no. Yes, I've gossiped behind someone's back (haven't we all?), but never on the internet where it says forever. Plus, I would be so embarrassed if I said something rude or mean and the person saw it. I would feel so bad.

    Anyway, I love this dress and the nautical belt!
    ~Sara

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  8. Sing it! I love how you put this! I didn't go through this with bloggers but in my personal life I've had a few people just be really negative and throw rude comments around and because I didn't want to offend them I'd hold my tongue meanwhile thinking for what reason are you being like this?? Then it made me resent and letting go so much harder. So I relate to this post very well. And my life's mantra is.. treat people the way I want to be treated. Thanks for this refreshing post! And on a side note... I used to love love love the Gin Blossoms. And I was so upset when my mom didn't let me go their concert when I was in high school : )

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  9. ah, i'm so glad to read this post. it is really odd and untasteful how there are these people in the internet who do spend their time putting people down (and that get off my internet website, what's up with that?). the way i see it, some people have way too much time on their hands. i mean, could you imagine having all this extra time to sit and write/comment rude things to bloggers? hmph!

    lindsey louise

    hellomrrabbitblog.com

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  10. Oh my goodness, the pattern of your dress is literally the most adorable thing EVER. I want it so bad!

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  11. That print is so cheery! Summer hits of the 90s is one of the best Pandora stations.

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  12. I've recently discovered forums where people can complain about bloggers or YouTubers and I don't understand why people that much energy into negativity. I've noticed, too, that the amount of complaints relates to how popular/successful the blogger or YouTuber is. I just wonder why people don't put all the energy that they put into tearing people down toward building their own blog or channel or something.

    The print on your dress is so cute!

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  13. gorgeous location! love your pretty dress
    kw, ladies in navy

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  14. Gin Blossoms ( as well as Smashmouth, Everclear and a few other bands like that) are playing down the street from my house tonight!

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  15. I agree with your whole look on negativity. Also, I love your dress. And I live in "Pennsyltucky" too. Your pictures actually helped remind me of how beautiful our section of Pennsylvania is really quite gorgeous.

    xoxo Gigi

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  16. Absolutely gorgeous dress and these pictures are wonderful.

    www.kindoflovely.com

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  17. Great post and very well said! People need to grown up and stop acting like they are in high school still. I was also taught to always treat people the way I want to be treated. It's a very easy solution and is very effective. There will always be some people that want drama though. I know a blogger who actually made a blog decated to "hate email" towards her and a few other bloggers. Hahaha

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  18. Rebecca was one of the first fashion bloggers that inspired me to make a blog, too, and I just can't see how people can turn her down! She's always so sweet and has the best things to say, and I just don't know how people can turn something she does or says into something awful. Especially that beautification post she wrote recently (I read all her things, just like you, she totally is an "untouchable goddess" to me, hehe, though I guess that post proved she was not?). Like who cares if she changes her hair? If she wants to try something new then who is that to push her down for it. GEEZ people can suck. Even if someone were to do something a little off course, at least they'd be being honest and doing what they want, you know? Honesty over popularity.

    ANYWAY I like your ranty preachy posts. You're just such a good lady, Katherine, and I adore you for that! I adore being able to peek into a window of your life and seeing a charming, accepting, wholesome lady.

    I never realized that dress of yours had FACES on the hot air balloons? WHAT? that is precious. PRECIOUS.

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  19. What a gorgeous place! I think jealousy is very natural, but very unfortunate when it gets out of hand and turns into something malicious.

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  20. Before getting into the deep and heavy thoughts your post presents...can I just say, I love your outfit and love the location you took it in? The fact you are always going out to take photos and using the locations as part of the blog post really has always made you stand out to me.

    A great post. The "perfect lives of bloggers" is a thing that confuses me. And ironically, becoming a blogger myself has definitely made me so much more aware that the behind the blogs I read are just people, people who are just showing off a part of their lives. While I appreciate honesty and vulnerability, like Jessica, one has to wonder how much people really want blogs about the bad and annoying. What we focus on can often set the mood for us, so it makes sense to focus on the positive. Plus... on a business side...well, if you are looking for employment or even if you are employed, and you have a bad day or something... why would you put that on the internet? Obviously, the fine line between sincerity and still being positive is one that is tricky for all bloggers.

    The two examples of other bloggers you mentioned really stood out to me too. A Clothes Horse is one of those that it just astounds me that people would say mean things to, though I suppose in some of their minds she is an idol to the point of it being hard to remember she is not only out there only for their amusement, maybe? Eh, whatever the reason, it is sad people have to be mean, and I loved her response to it- That we don't choose how we look for anyone else, or even just for being "beautiful," but that it is an expression of self, that it is (or should be) something that makes us happy. Then Mady's situation is....complicated. It is so hard to even compare them, because as awful as being told mean things is, Mandy's situation seems to go beyond the personal. Whatever actions she did and whatever people said about her, affected not only her personally, but her livelihood and her businesses reputation...and yet, those same actions and words, seem to also have directly affected other people's livelihoods and businesses. It is all very sad. (Not sure how believably the argument that such business practices indirectly affected other business though.) I dunno. I've followed both her blog and several of the blogs that posted about her short-lived design store, and suspect that the truth is probably somewhere in the middle and that no harm was truly meant. Which makes it even worse that harm was most definitely caused. I'm really hoping that it all works itself out and no one's business was affected too badly.

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  21. great post :) I do love some 90s rock and I remember that song haha
    I love that dress and the location is so green and the flowers are so pretty.
    thanks for sharing such great advice, blogging is a great platform and it's so cool to see so many different perspectives on fashion and life :)

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